Our neighbours can keep their Invincibles. We’ve got our Incurables. Everything changes, and everything stays the same. We buy players, we don’t buy players. We employ managers who attack, managers who are cautious, managers whose methods have worked elsewhere, but then they come to Tottenham. Spurs are an open wound that nothing can heal.

Long since banned in these pages, spursy became a popular and ultimately meaningless signifier for Tottenham’s serial failures, which in reality were down to consistent, continual incompetence, and so it is with our form. Different players, varying styles, managerial churn, with this one quality of incompetence in common. Now, a new regime, new manager, new players but they all inherit a culture where winning is the outlier and being thereabouts is the loftiest ambition. The Europa League triumph is the ultimate proof of how embedded this has become. We win a major European honour yet the culture persists.

So what’s this regime’s problem? Long-standing supporters are numb but the pain still seeps through. Ask what’s going wrong and many of us merely shake our heads in dismal bewilderment. We look decent for a while, then it all falls apart. Every time. The one thing you can guarantee about Spurs is that however well we are playing, someone will make a serious error. We’ve had years of this, and as a good friend said to me after Saturday’s match, other teams know it and incorporate our brittle mentality into their tactics. However much the game was going against them, Villa had two quick forwards and the long ball became a serious threat.

Our creativity shines through only in the manner in which we concede. Dominate the first period. 45^th minutes, VDV off injured and down to ten men, then, and only then, does our most experienced player tamely clear straight to one of theirs. The cross finds their striker in the space where our centre half would have been. Hard to believe, and all too believable.

I’m pleased with one thing, that the Villa game showed some team development. For the first half an hour, we were excellent, controlling the game and making chances. Bentancur, our best player this season, picked up loose balls and developed our play from deep and then again as we reset further up the pitch. Their keeper played well but made saves you’d expect PL keepers to make. I’d prefer it if our players kicked the ball harder and further away from him, but that’s just me. At least we had shots on target. This is how low I’ve set my sights and I’m still disappointed.

Then for the third home game in succession, we totally fall away in the second half. The opposition tighten up in midfield and we lose that battle. They’re not unduly worried as we feed the ball wide because the wingers aren’t getting anywhere, bearing in mind also that this was not their first choice defence. We have an unerring capacity to cross the ball to where no Spurs player is standing. Villa pushed Jackson up on Van Hecke to expose his deficiencies.

The fundamental problem with Spurs at the moment is that this team doesn’t have a heart. It’s a collection of players, not a single organism. You can’t measure this with xG, field tilt or any other stat, but supporters know it, see it and feel it. There’s no leader, no focus. It’s all superficial. We’re not putting down roots, so when required to dig deeper, we’re easily blown away. Nothing to lift the team and change the game. Sometimes a gamechanger scores the goal out of nothing, More frequently games are turned around by effort and willpower. Often a tackle will do it. In this Spurs side, nobody says, right, we’re down and I’m not gong to stand for this.

Now I may be old but I like to think I’m not old-fashioned. Contemporary tactics, I get it, the game moves on. For instance, midfielders at this level should be multi-functional, able to run, chase and pass, something which to be even-handed to a figure I have severely maligned in these pages, Tim the Temp Sherwood declared over a decade ago, although I stand by my conviction that Nacer Chadli wasn’t the man to prove his theory correct.

On the way home, and I had plenty of time to ruminate on this, what with the main train station closed plus a tube severely restricted, and my decision to avoid London Bridge where there were more police than passengers on the way through as southeast London braced itself for Millwall v W Ham, I came to ponder this question: would Palhinha have stood for this? Palhinha is the closest we’ve come lately to the old-fashioned defensive midfielder,  although to be fair he’s more than that. At the end of last season, he was a major influence. Not everything he did worked, but his determination not only unsettled opponents, it spread to his teammates. 50-50 balls became 60-40 when he’s around. He creates a degree of uncertainty in the opposition, just enough for them to worry that they can’t hang around on the ball. To be old-fashioned about it, he got stuck in.

I still believe Spurs have the potential to get it right, or at least enough right to move up the table. Us old-fashioned supporters know it takes time to build a team. Our problem this season is that we’ve tried to take too big a leap. We’ve changed too much in one go, and it will take time to improve. I use Palhinha and what he gives to a side as an example. Greater solidity, granted at the expense of some attacking ambition, could have created the basis for improvement a couple of steps at a time. Lock down midfield and protect the defence, then build on that. When they settle, I’m sure I’ll enjoy Tonali and Fernandes in midfield. We need that progressive, pass it forwards FFS approach that we’ve missed for a long time, but for now we’re not ready for that change.

I say nobody. Conor Gallagher is the closest we have. He’s no creative number 10 but he’s always on the front foot. He doesn’t sit back and doesn’t accept losing easily. He made the near post run that the strikers failed to do. He’s not the long-term solution but we need that attitude.

To repeat myself, we can and will turn this around but for the moment, my biggest worry is that the manager seems worried. His post match press conference on Saturday was an odd one. He said he hadn’t given the players a message before they left for the international break, yet he was prepared to be openly critical of some of them. I never appreciate that quality in managers anyway. He declared that bringing Kudus on to play centrally was disruptive. I agree but it was his decision and he did the same against Everton, where his raft of substitutes produced only chaos and he had to change it for a third time. He bemoaned the players’ lack of fitness, he’s the one in charge of that. He speaks of Fernandes as a strong player, yet regularly doesn’t start him or takes him off early. He cuts a frustrated figure – it’s taking him more time than he expected to get his message through.

Players like Solanke, Maddison and Kudus now have time to get properly fit. I read this afternoon that Kudus has decided not to play for Ghana to work on his fitness. For once, I’m looking forward to the international break.

Like pulling on a woolly jumper as the shadows lengthen at the end of summer, it’s a shame the seasons change but there’s comfort to be found. It feel easy to slip back into the familiar cozy routine. Curse the trains and buses, as last year, the year before, the decades before that. The step quickens involuntarily to round the corner and catch the first glimpse of the stadium, looming above the north London terraces, just as when we were children. That enticing, unique smell of onions and fat without which football would not seem quite right, wherever you go to watch it. Away fans sporting shirts and accents mix in with our

I’m a little earlier than usual, just to take it all in. Stroll rather than rush from the station. Nod to Harry’s mural. The queue outside Chick-King. There’s space in the Corner Pin even this close to kick-off, noted, for another day. Curl a lip at the sign for the go-kart track. This is a football ground, to me, to the old school, to those of us who feel increasingly out of step with the way football is presented and promoted. That thought is for another day, but it won’t go away, and will be a theme on TOMM this season as this old man gets, and feels, older. And there’s something new, something we are unaccustomed to. Is that a whiff of optimism in the air?

Some things never change. Spurs are all shiny shiny now. The club wants to respect and get closer to fans. Shiny new comms. Shiny new players, expensive this, designer gear not knockoffs. Shiny turnstile tech. I can’t shift years of distrust though. Despite shiny club emails, my season ticket pass has been resolute all summer in showing a ticket for Spurs against Doncaster Rovers with the words DO NOT USE, just in case I didn’t realise we weren’t playing them. Based on seasons of experience, I assume this won’t work. My son went to the Charlton game and said that staff at the first contact point at the bottom of the stairs to the ground were searching for QR codes that no longer exist. But no problem. I’m in. Maybe things really are changing.

I bump into an old friend. We hug hallo. How are you, ok, but we both know what we mean is, what do you think about the new season? More handshakes and catch-ups in the ground. How are you? What do you think? What are we still doing here? 

I’m getting on now. Next April, it will be 60 years since I first came to this corner of north London. Football’s very different, but to me, and this is how I deal with the contemporary game, it’s the same. I see 11 players in white shirts and navy blue shorts, and I support them with all my heart. It’s the rest of the game where I feel alienated and disconnected.

Here’s a for instance. I read, not only in social media but in the mainstream press, that Spurs fans are arrogant and entitled. Except the ones I speak to, and I speak to a lot, aren’t like that at all. Everyone I chat with today says the same thing. This is a new team under a new manager and it will take time to get it all together, but there’s confidence that we will. I agree, adding that there will be pain while we find the right way forward.

And so Spurs proceeded to prove us right. Trust Spurs to bring on the pain. I wish I had been wrong. In a dull, unadventurous first half, I saw shoots of promise in our spasmodic passing moves and occasional breaks. I felt duty bound to ignore the times we lost possession, or VDV’s desperate late tackle early on. That’s all consigned to the past now. See, I’m a Spurs fan. Self-deception comes naturally to me. 

You know the ending. Certainly an improvement after Brentford but woefully weak up front. Our wide men neutered, little support in the box. We were the better side overall, they were decent but unexceptional. They had two shots on goal and scored from both, whereas their keeper made his first save in the 87th minute. Walking to the station with that losing feeling, head down. I know every crack of every paving stone. 

It feels the same but this is different. We’re witnessing a seismic shift in Tottenham Hotspur’s identity as a football club, arguably the biggest change in a generation. Maybe we’re slow in coming to terms with the magnitude of change, partly because we’ve become accustomed to underachieving and our hopes being dashed, partly because many aspects are the same as before, including of course many players from previous squads, so it doesn’t appear that different, partly because we are just so sick of seeing us lose at home. 

This time, though, the board are prepared to back their manager with funding for a series of high class players. Hardly a revolutionary approach if a club has ambitions but never before attempted by the previous regime. We have never seen such determination to overhaul the squad, ruthlessly move on those who don’t have a place here, and to invest in talent. 

This radical overhaul addresses the chronic lack of purpose and direction that has bedevilled this club for a decade or more. Perhaps like me, over the summer you thought we’d see a few good players come in, maybe a marquee signing to appease us. But this is the new Spurs, attempting something more fundamental. De Zerbi is the board’s man, this is what he wants and we’ll go out and get it. Good players have left, because we’re impatient now, can’t wait to see if they might get better – Sarr, Vuskovic, Lankshear. Danso can’t wait as fourth choice, Richarlison good but not good enough. Spence had a good World Cup with the world watching but he’s not first choice so we take the money. Decision-taking that is quick and clean. 

The board have seized their moment. They have levered the advantages available to them, using the new PSR rules, exploiting the returns from the stadium and the relatively (compared with other PL sides) low salary to income ratio bequeathed to them. Players are keen to come because we’re paying competitive salaries, they will be first choice, it’s a London club and for the present at least, they are joining an ambitious, upwardly mobile team. 

All of which does not provide an answer to the key question: will it work? I don’t know, but I do feel positive despite losing our first two league games. The manager has a huge task ahead, not only totally rebuilding a team but also to overcome the culture of underachievement that is embedded in the club’s psyche. 

The many familiar names in the squad obscure the extent of change required. We don’t have any established system to settle the new players. Not so much a squad of footballers as a bunch of lab rats compelled against their will to take part in a variety of fiendish experiments. Even leaving mad scientists Nuno, JM and Conte to one side, in the last 18 months we’ve had all-out Ange, ultra defensive Ange, Frank pretending he was still managing Brentford, Tudor imposing his methods only to look weak, plus RDZ. Compare that with Brentford who overwhelmed us in the season opener, slotting new buys into their tried and tested system.

Good teams rely on effective partnerships. We don’t have these and it will take time to create them. The manager has already tried a few options and at least the defeats will accelerate his assessments. I suspect he has already discovered what and who works. His selection on Saturday was unduly cautious, in particular playing Porro as right midfield, a sign perhaps of his lack of confidence in his team at present. That didn’t work, so hopefully won’t be repeated. Similarly, after a bright pre-season, Tel earned a starting place only to display his limitations at this level. The skill is there but it’s all in the mind – he hesitates when action is required. Trudging disconsolately past the south stand after he was substituted, as he went shedding bits of tape and sock-ties but not his bitterness, Tel reminded me of Ricky Villa’s long walk to the dressing room after his substitution in the 1981 Cup Final. His classic redemption story that followed is unlikely to be told about Tel. 

Partnerships can build. VDV and Van Hecke can form a strong centre back unit, with Porro on the right and Robertson or Udogie on the left. Gray remains a fine prospect but his talents are not fully exploited at full-back. I’d like to see Tonali and Fernandes combine in midfield and our new players could create exciting options up front, where the partnerships will be about movement, rotation and shifting positions, but this complex business all takes time. Our three best 10s are injured, for now maybe add Gallagher to the central midfield and encourage players to again move and shift as the space and pace of the game evolves. 

Regular readers will know I’ve been exceedingly critical of the way the club has been run in the past, but this is a sound approach. And the club seeks to build an attacking side with several players with skill and flair, something fans have been crying out for. There will be short-term pain, undoubtedly but give it time.   

Welcome to another season. Tottenham On My Mind doesn’t usually creak into action during the summer phoney war of transfer rumours and pre-season tours, both of which combine to invariably create an unrealistic picture of Tottenham’s fortunes for the coming season. But this feels different.

The story so far. Last summer, an estimated 220,000 delirious fans swamped the High Road on a working day to hail the victorious Europa League winners. The sun shone, and players, manager and fans were never closer. Communal exultation was tinged with relief. A first trophy since 2008, we were at last released from carrying the burden of years of unfilled promise and countless missed opportunities, the wasted hopes and wasted money. Surely this was a corner turned.

So we appoint Thomas Frank, a manager with a reputation for organisation, motivating players and bringing out the best from both team and individuals. Daniel Levy is brusquely pushed aside as members of the Lewis family take more direct responsibility for running the club. They appoint a CEO, Vinai Venkatesham, to work sporting director Johan Lange, and we handle his Arsenal past because we sorely lack structure, strategy and direction at board level, and, well, look at them.

The club fills up with new recruits. At board level, people who supposedly know about business and big money. On the staff, new directors and heads of insert vaguely medical/fitness/recruitment jargon word. A few decent players too, although maybe not enough quality and experience….

So much has happened since then, it feels like a decade’s worth rather than a single season. I actually checked I’d got the dates right: I’ve become as ludicrous as the club. Last season was an interminable ordeal, a relentless progress down the table with indignity piled upon crisis, most of which was self-inflicted. Much of the football was nothing short of pitiful, the only signs of creativity coming in the varied and ingenious ways we found to lose football matches.

While the players should shoulder their due responsibility, this came from the top. The Levy era embedded a culture characterised by a lack of ambition and a failure to commit our financial resources to a squad worthy of challenging for honours in a highly competitive environment. Where the loyalty of fans paying some of the highest prices in Europe, fans who filled the ground every week and who packed out every away allocation, was  patronised and treated with contempt. By the end, fans were alienated and disillusioned. The divide between us and them had become an abyss.

I believe the board and senior staff thought the Europa League win gave us a season’s grace where in the safe hands of Thomas Frank, we could consolidate, settle and gradually develop the team. Certainly a top half finish, maybe a European place, then second season, we could move. This included committing resources in the transfer market over these two seasons.

It quickly became clear that this strategy reeked of complacency, an attitude which nearly led to relegation. Frank was unable to instil into the team any of the qualities he is known for, albeit with an injury decimated squad. In January, the club hierarchy – it’s not clear who was taking key decisions, Lange, Venkatesham or the board, and that seems to be one of the problems – failed to react to what every fan could see, denying the reality of our form and league position in what amounts to a scandalous dereliction of duty. Frank was dismissed at least a month too late, then we appoint a caretaker with no experience of the Premier League as manager.

The Fan Advisory Board meeting in March revealed the results of an internal survey confirming severe problems with the club’s internal culture and their relationship with supporters. It includes the damning line, “VV explained that there is now complete clarity across the Club that on pitch success is our number one priority and focus.” In other words, in the past, this was not the case. A football club where the team’s success is not the priority.

In the end, a combination of the new manager and another team with similar chronic problems on and off the pitch, only worse, got us a late and perhaps undeserved reprieve. 12 months on, the joy long since evaporated, the relief remained. The question of whether another club has lost so much goodwill, so quickly and when it was so avoidable is a valid one but for another time.

This was my worst ever season, without doubt. I’ve been a fan since the mid 60s, a regular at the Lane since 1969. Repeating a quote I’ve used before, Jackson Lamb in Slow Horses said that it’s not the hope that kills you, it’s knowing it’s the hope that kills you. I’m a fan. That will never change. Tottenham til I die isn’t a chant, it’s a way of being. I work in social care and we do these courses where trainers often ask you to introduce yourself in three words. Mine are, father, husband, Spurs fan. This is tricky in my world as potentially the last bit reveals me as insubstantial and trivial, but I say it because it is true. Being a supporter is, for me, a profound representation of self. It is fundamental to my identity and who I am. It is the sole consistent thread of my life from boy to man. Through several upheavals and tragic losses, the club is still there.  

This past season, for the very first time, I thought it had all become too much. The intensity of my commitment was harming me. There was no benefit, no release, no time out from anxiety provoking life events, certainly no enjoyment. I was angry, anxious, despairing. Sleep disrupted, irritable with others, low mood. All of which is self-induced. I don’t have to be there, but I have to be there.

This sounds bewildering to the non-fan. I was sharing this with a close friend. She listened, and I know she cares, then she said, ‘remind me again which team you support.’ It was so refreshing. Everyone I know asks me about Spurs, which is fine, but it didn’t matter who I supported. Free from Spurs, just for a moment. I hope too that this sounds odd to authentic supporters whose emotional commitment is more balanced and can put being a Spurs fan into a better, safer place than I can. It’s much more healthy.

But this is me, too old to change now. I talk to lots of Spurs fans, and I know I’m not the only one. There are many problems in the relationship the club has with supporters, but the most significant is that they simply do not grasp the profound, lasting meaning of being a fan. They think they do but they don’t. How for many of us, being a Spurs fan is inextricably intertwined with identity, with family and friends, with how they handled major life events, how we make decisions about our future. About who we are.

I can deal with mediocre football, disappointment and unfulfilled promise. I learned that early on, as have my son and granddaughter who I now sit with. Disillusion passed down the generations. Even the trophy winning teams of the 70s and 80s did not play consistently to their potential in the league. I’ve experienced relegation, plus the following season where remember we very nearly did not make it back at the first attempt, squeezing out a dodgy last game draw to go up.

But two seasons not just of awful football but the doing nothing about it really got to me. Obvious flaws ignored amid the stench of complacency and decay, the missed opportunities over two decades, the club hierarchy’s aloof isolation and steadfast inaction when the team was crumbling. That was what did for me. Being with family and longstanding Spurs friends saw me through and I will always be grateful, because that is the true nature of being part of the crowd.   

I’ve been writing Tottenham On My Mind since 2009. The club could have saved a fortune in consultants’ fees by reading it, because I long ago reached similar conclusions. But now we move on – or do we? Regular readers, of which there are many, and I sincerely thank you, will be familiar with paragraphs that consider the state we’re in, and begin with the words ‘but surely’. As in, but surely things will change now. But surely the club must address these problems. But surely the club can’t let this state of affairs carry on, and sure enough, they do.

But surely, this lot are paying attention. One positive consequence of being awful is that the hierarchy have come to their senses and don’t want to be awful any more. Against type, we’ve gone big and early in the transfer market. Tonali and Fernandes will revitalise our central midfield and bring out the best in others, those that are still around that is. Because my wife’s family are diehard Hammers (and I confess things were a little awkward at times in our household towards the end of the season), I watch them a lot and can vouch for Fernandes as a real talent.

We have some money and PSR wiggle room, partly because of our income, partly because we’ve not invested as we should over the three year PSR period. It’s pointless asking if these players are worth the money because they are worth it to us, and if these are the men we want, it is right to go for them. Also, we’ve had to pay the twat tax, the money you have spend to put right an avoidable mistake. In my case, it’s to pay for a professional to rectify my DIY mistakes, at Spurs it’s a different level but the same principle. Combined with this approach is a salary structure heavily revised upwards. Again, these are market forces that the Levy regime wilfully ignored, and have enticed Senesi and Roertson, both sound arrivals.

These are welcome signs of positive change. Less clear cut is the debate about our selling policy, in particular, the sale of promising talent such as Vuskovic and Lankshear. This too implies a change of policy. Recruitment under Lange, and for periods in the past, seemed most comfortable in identifying young talent. Now, it seems we have run out of patience. We can’t wait for this talent to mature, so instead we are buying proven top class players.

Partly this is to free up funds for other purchases that are ready in the here and now, but as ever it’s more complex than that. Partly, like you I’ve become attached to young, skilful players like Devine, Lankshear, Phillips and Donley, and I’ve wanted them to succeed. I though they had a chance, and they’ve not had first team opportuntites, but the reality is that they may have reached their level as good championship players. PL teams are not coming in for them. Later, they may rise into the PL but the reality is that we want players at a high level.  

Anyway, selling young players has moved into new territory. Making a £30m profit on a player who has never appeared in a competitive Spurs first team game is a hint that times are changing. Loans are not the only development opportunity now. PSR is a fact of football life we can’t ignore, no matter what we feel about the players concerned. For example, on social media many Villa fans have demanded to know how we can spend this money when we’ve finished 17^th twice in succession. League position isn’t hugely significant given our finances, so partly this shows those posters know nothing about football finance, but partly it’s frustration that although their club’s owner possesses a fortune, they have less PSR room to manoeuvre because of previous spending and high income to salaries ratio, much higher than ours, which is (or was) amongst the lowest in the division.  

The trend is to sell and get some cash now, and build in a percentage of any future selling on fee and matching rights. If, for example, Lankshear or Vuskovic become the stars we need, we have the option of buying them back. Nobody ever knows the path of a young player’s development but this is some of the best insurance, and to repeat the obvious, because of our past failings we have big problems to solve here and now if we want to be contenders.

It does leave unanswered the question about the pathway to the first team for young men. I can’t say with authority how good Tynan Thompson might become but at 18 he was keen to move away. Does he see more opportunity at Old Trafford, or did they offer more money? At Spurs, Moore, Williams Barnett and Byfield all look good to me and I hope we can find a way to keep them at the club. At a higher level, the same goes for Gray and Bergvall, with for me Gray being the real prospect.

All this means a change for fans too. We get attached to our young players and want to support them on their journey to the first team. ‘One of our own’ is truly meaningful. Maybe that’s becoming a thing of the past too, a forlorn hope in a football landscape dominated by globalisation and capital, where players are commodities to trade. It’s another diminution in the supporter experience. It’s hard to see how that will change, but as fans we can do our level best to ensure that Venkatesham and his hierarchy stick to another promise made at the FAB, that he addresses the “growing disconnect between the Club and its supporter base.”

So probably this piece is a long-winded way of saying I’m looking forward to the new season and writing about it. Thanks for sticking with TOMM, and I’ll keep a watch on how he gets on.

Tottenham On My Mind has always been free to read and always will be. If you have any spare cash, my fellow Spurs fan Jim Brigden donned his Spurs shirt and cycled up to The Open in aid of charity, here’s his page: https://golffoundation.enthuse.com/pf/jim-brigden

There was an odd atmosphere on Monday night. The on-pitch burners reminded me of the ultimate pointlessness of life itself, but the tifo set us up and the crowd got going. This faded as anxiety took over, rekindled only when we scored. I can’t go away but it sounded as if the fans at Villa gave everything to get behind the team. It doesn’t feel like a do or die atmosphere at home. Partly this is anxiety, but also there’s something niggling away at me about a degree of resignation. Not acceptance, but somehow fate will decide and it’s out of our hands as supporters.

I thought Frank’s organisational and motivational powers would meet the needs of a squad with unrealised potential. At Brentford he got the best from his players and made them better, as individuals and as a team. Ange’s approach was wonderful when it worked but too frequently he was outwitted by the PL norm of hard running, disciplined and well-drilled teams.

In reality, he clearly wasn’t able to take that step up. It felt as if in his head, he was still managing Brentford, only the players somehow looked different. The team became disorganised and disillusioned. Those in charge (I use this term because it’s not clear whether the board or the Venkatesham/Lange combo were taking these decisions, although I’m pointing the finger at the latter) acted too late. They then showed their disconnect with the situation in general and presumably with the mood of the players by appointing Tudor. He appears, in public at least, to have employed the tough love approach. I paraphrase, but as he said in answer to the question what’s wrong, ‘the defence, the attack, oh and the midfield.’

He was right but that’s not the point. His approach was never going to turn the team around, not in the time available to him anyway. Our decision-makers misjudged the mood of the squad and this could prove to be fatal. They failed to understand let alone address a fundamental question that applies to any team in any sport at any level – motivation. They researched Tudor’s ability to turn things around in failing clubs without digging into how he achieved this and whether his methods fitted the needs of the Spurs squad. Also, Tudor the temp wasn’t going to be around for long, so this limits the players’ investment in him and his methods. Plus the fact that all these players could get a good deal at another club. This disconnect wasted precious weeks and points. It is a crucial error, avoidable if the decision-takers had done their jobs properly.

What did our players have to play for? One answer is, play for the shirt. Another is professional pride, but these are abstract concepts. Most people in any job need something more tangible, and usually that boils down to two things, money and colleagues. At Spurs it’s not money because they are well-rewarded, so you play for your teammates and your coach. They may hold the badge up to the fans, but that is a tangible sign of team spirit and their loyalty to their manager.

De Zerbi knows this, and this is what he has achieved in a short space of time. The players have, I assume, little automatic fidelity to a club that has messed them around. They see all too clearly the problems we’ve faced in squad building, transfers and the managerial churn. In saying this, I’m not excusing them totally because they are professionals and their effort has at times been lacking, but this is the modern world, where players expect to be coached into their patterns of play. De Zerbi has given them this and a degree of positivity. It’s hardly original, but he’s buoying the players up in public and private by all accounts, treating them as individuals and developing their confidence. Men like Gallagher, Bentancur and Paulinha are shining because he gives them responsibility and plays them in roles familiar to them. In a remarkably short space of time, the defence and midfield are organised, working hard and playing as a unit.

There’s hope there, which I guess is all we can wish for right now and is an emotion I’ve not experienced since mid-January. I’m conscious that I’m down about this season but we have those two points and goal difference in the bag.

However, at the same time the improvements have brought the problems into stark relief. I’ve already discussed the biggest one, the decision makers’ dereliction of duty. The other is that our front line is poor and we lack the creativity to make enough chances to increase our sense of security. Tel is a promising young player -what a beautiful goal – who lacks the poise and nouse that hopefully comes with age and experience, except we need something now. Richie had a game to forget on Monday, while Muani provoked a vigorous discussion on Bluesky as to whether he is the worst loan signing the club has ever made. Good judges went for Gedson but at least we could hide him out of the way in midfield or on the bench, whereas Muani is crucial to our goalscoring aspirations.

One move from Monday summed this up. Tel facing his own goal was trapped on the ball, again, and ended up wildly hacking the ball across our box, fortunately just missing the attackers. It ended up with Muani, who in space proceeded to botch his move with a mindless run and dreadful control, so we lost possession. Then Tel did what he did, when calmer heads should prevail and we let slip the valuable two points that could have meant safety.

It’s in our hands. There’s hope, but sadly there’s no trust. You simply can’t trust them. Danso solid but makes the injury time error. Tel does what he does. Richie misses in front of goal. We give the ball away easily, still. On countless occasions we destroy an attacking opportunity for want of decent ball control or an accurate ten yard pass, which is not asking much. The most predicable element of our play is that we will make a key mistake.

But hope lies in our redemption stories. Kinsky shows remarkable courage in overcoming the Athletico debacle, where other keepers more experienced than he have seen careers disintegrate after such a confidence destroying game. His fortitude spreads from the back into the rest of the team. And Maddison made an immediate and discernible impact in the short time he came on. He probably won’t be fit enough for 90 minutes before the season ends so the decision is whether or not to use his limited minutes from the start or save him until later.

I would describe myself as mentally and emotionally resilient, thanks to my caring parents, although I did not realise this at the time, to me it was just normal. As a Spurs fan this helps successfully navigate the ups and downs, a perspective where the highs feel more exhilarating than ever because they are so precious while the lows can jog on, there’s always next week.

But I am exhausted by this, this mess, this shambles, this self-imposed purgatory. I’m not motivated to write as often as I used to. I just want to write, it’s awful, awful, awful awful. I don’t want to think about it but think about little else. Tottenham always on my mind after all. I’ve never demanded success or trophies, they will come our way if we play decent football and hubristic expectation is not part of me being a fan. Loyalty, family, being there, the camaraderie of good friends and those who sit around me, that’s what matters. If we go down, that remains and will sustain me. If we’re useless, I can handle that too, but this is all so avoidable and that’s what undermines my long-established coping strategies.

I’ll handle the banter and the comments, although currently they come from all sides. Friends (albeit it gently), comments from strangers if I wear something with the badge, topical comedy on the radio and TV, it’s ok because I know what being a fan means to me and that will carry on regardless of the outcome. It’s my club that has got to me. Years of negligence, of lousy decision-making in the transfer market, the arrogance of those in charge who thought we could manage, whose cursory disregard of supporters is unforgivable. Whose sloth in taking remedial action at the beginning of the year could take us down.

The true heart of Tottenham Hotspur beat at half time when the club showed a montage of those fans who died this year. Ten or more minutes passed as we applauded their smiling faces, one by one, wearing navy blue and white, each one representing a lifetime of support, some long, some tragically brief. I wish their families long life.

On Monday I met a long-standing season ticket holder who goes to every home game. Well, almost every one. He’s missed two this year, family stuff, which means he’s not seen Spurs win for 13 months. But he’s still here and so am I. I say I rise above the banter, but as my son pointed out, on the last day W Ham, AFC and Palace are all playing in London. For those of us who live in town or journey home through central London, that could be fun. And if those in charge ever made that journey on public transport, ever had to come out of their bubble, ever talked to those who have passed and truly listened, Spurs would never have reached this point.