Peter Crouch

March of the Marshmallow Men

/ Alan / 7 Comments

So the marshmallow men march on to Elland Road this evening still recovering from a series of self-inflicted wounds that have gone beyond the superficial. More than skin deep, these have left scars that will take time to heal.

Corluka losing his man on Saturday, or Keane and others inability to hold onto the ball or even to negotiate the simple injury time run into the corner in the first match, then collective frustration against Hull and Liverpool – all symptoms of the same malaise. Over the past couple of weeks our collective failings have been ruthlessly exposed. From Accrington to Wolverhampton we have sent a message foghorn loud that we are soft to the very core.

Self-harm is a pernicious condition. For those who look on and care, it evokes sadness and helplessness. The self-loathing and lack of esteem that is the root is hard to overcome. As much as we might delude ourselves, we fans will never truly understand the mind of a professional footballer. Although well rewarded, at least in the higher divisions, on match day they face huge pressure that weighs heavily on individuals and their psyche. As the final whistle nears, the body’s exhaustion invades the mind. Clear thinking is nigh on impossible. I remember reading the Glory Game (the book about Spurs in the early seventies) where Peters and Chivers I think were saying that the worst aspect of fitness was the concentration. They came off the pitch with a headache from the effort.

Whatever the difficulties, collectively this team has to find a solution. It may come from team bonding, the inspiration of a never-say-die individual, the canny play of experience or from a blinding bit of sheer good fortune. Something has to change. they must find a way, otherwise Leeds will roll right over us this evening and so will the rest of the league.

Regular visitors to TOMM will know my fondness for tactics, ideas and shape, but not now. Clear heads. Ninety five minutes. Bottle. The rest can come later.

Regulars will also recall that they have been threatened with a discussion of resilience, a theme throughout the season – we’re not really learning, are we. But a while back I mentioned something else that comes to mind again now. I suggested that because we will never be able to organise ourselves as well as, say, Villa or the teams that have thrown a defensive shield around their goal, we should play to our strengths and keep scoring. We will score one more than you.

In fact, our defensive record is better than I anticipated but the problems lie more in our lack of ability to score enough at the moment. We are getting goals, but not making as many good chances as once was the case and in particular not taking with the necessary precision. We need to re-focus on the striking partnership. Settling on Crouch and Defoe provide consistency but is proving to be wasteful in terms of what the big man is providing to team mates. He wins so much but then wastes so much too. His movement and distribution is largely predictable. JD is not quite on song – there’s that telling extra touch or moment’s hesitation, or then as the match progresses his frustration emerges in the no hope blast.

Elland Road was always a tough ground to visit. They can really hate up there and our boys cannot succumb, or else they will be, um, toasted…

The good seek also redemption, so if we can come through tonight’s ordeal, and despite my justified concerns about our well-being I believe we will, this could be the turning point.

Birmingham v Spurs. Don’t Go Inter City

/ Alan / 6 Comments

I was once stranded in Birmingham after a midweek away game, must have been in the seventies. At the time, British Rail were trumpeting their wonderful new service from Euston to New Street – ‘an Inter City train every half an hour!’ Now you should know that I check and re-check everything. No stone is left unturned, no pocket left unchecked, timetables, back-up journeys and alternative routes, spare cash. The mantra of: ‘keys – money – handkerchief – glasses – season ticket (match days only)’ has served me well since childhood and I see no reason to change now.

But on this occasion, the advertising, the bright lights, the lure of the Inter City as the transport of the future, all lulled me into a false sense of security. I wasn’t expecting one every half an hour in the late evening but I did not anticipate that the last train left Birmingham at 9.35pm. Childhood illusions shattered and I’ve never trusted adverts since. I discovered this fact only when I arrived back at the station at 9.36, after a frankly edgy walk from the ground. After a couple of hours, BR kindly extended the last train originally destined for Northampton so I finally reached Euston in the early hours.

I bear Birmingham, the city, the club and its fans no ill will however. I’m sure they will be overjoyed to hear this. Even now the Mayor is breathing a sigh of relief. Mind you, Spurs will be in for a tough time tomorrow. Brum have maintained an excellent run, their defeat last Saturday notwithstanding, on the back of hard work, application and organisation. And the marshmallow boys don’t cope very well with all of that, now do we?

Since the home game the only time that I have seen more than their highlights was their home fixture earlier this season against Blackburn, which in fairness probably does not do them justice as it was a rotten game. They defended resolutely, with their centre halves not budging from well-protected fortifications at the edge of their box. They headed everything away with a frightening determination to be first to the ball. Bowyer and Ferguson will bristle in front of them and they may be happy to spend periods penned back, absorbing the pain and hitting us on the break.

If Kranjcar is fit then he should replace Bentley, and there’s always the question marks over King, but otherwise the team should be the same. The temptation to pair Keane and Defoe in an attempt to shift the defence around is offset by Keane’s lethargic form, so again my plea is for Luka and Nico to get on the ball, pass and move, knock it around and wait for the opening. More long balls and crosses like the first half against Fulham and Birmingham will treat it as heading practice. Bale’s strikes from deep could be pivotal, especially as the match goes on.

Opposing us will be a man who was once, like Bale, young, swift and carefree. Flying down the wing, Steve Carr was a fine overlapping full-back in his prime. He developed from a hesitant, callow youth into a terrific player, although he was probably better coming forward than defensively. He suffered from being part of an average team, but just as we hoped to reap the benefits of his maturity, he was injured and never the same player again. When he returned he was, well, big. As full fitness returned he never really lost that. He was muscled and strong, using his experience well, but had lost the pace that made him special.

He left us under a cloud, trusting that Newcastle would bring him the success he desired. And a giant pay packet, no doubt. We get a bit worked up when he returns to the Lane but in all honesty it’s rather half-hearted: he was hardly irreplaceable at the time of his departure.

Meanwhile, I’m sure that if I lived in the Tottenham area, I would at this very moment be preparing a streetparty to welcome Eidur Gudjohnson…..no I’m not exactly overwhelmed either. Still, it’s the sort of deal Harry loves, experience at a bargain price, and he has a history of getting the best from players who are slipping from the peak of their careers. Gudjohnson at his peak was a clever player, able to move around up front, use the channels and set up chances as well as take them. He could also interchange between midfield and the box as the flow of the game required. Sounds a bit like Robbie Keane really…. We can’t lose with this kind of deal. No fee, not tied into a long term contract and a reported £30k a week.

I would still keep Pav – as I’ve said before, I would not let any of the top players go until the end of the season with the possible exception of Bentley. The CL place demands 100% focus and I am increasingly frustrated with the effect Crouch has on our fluency. But I don’t wish to complain too much, and if he departs, Gudjohnson will be his replacement.

At the time of writing it looks highly likely that Kaboul will return, joined by the excellent goalie Bercovic (apologies if his name is misspelt). I always considered Kaboul to be a good prospect but he was red raw during his first spell with us. He’s improved since then and although I would have preferred more experience, assuming we will once again mug Portsmouth he’ll be value for money. A good deal for the two of them – Bercovic is impressive.

Spurs v Fulham. Lovely and Dull

/ Alan / 13 Comments

A routine win from an average display characterised by competency and the plain ordinary. Those long boring passages with nothing much going on were a welcome relief from the shredded emotions of the previous week. The lads knew we needed a break – they’re just so considerate, bless ‘em.

After the Hull game, Phil Brown said he had rung a few manager mates to find out how to cope with us. Mick McCarthy and others obliged, but the wonderful wily Roy Hodgson needed no help in setting up his team. They tried to funnel us into the packed midfield, where many of our attacks foundered. Bentley was probably the most surprised man in the ground where he heard he was playing but we needed width and that was his role. Desperate to impress, he was repeatedly drawn infield to the ball like a moth to a flame, indicating his lack of a big brain. However, we had so much of the ball that he was able to produce something out wide and did well enough.

Modric was the pick of our team. He could have got on the ball more, because when he did he upped the tempo and made things happen. Not only is he dangerous, he galvanises others into action. This blog’s mantra is pass and move. I’m always banging on about it but today I will give you some respite. Suffice to say that when we played in short bursts like this, as after the second goal, we looked so much more dangerous than when we hammered in the crosses but seldom provided enough support for the man on the ball.

And boy did those crosses and long balls come sailing in. Crouch causes anxiety in defenders and usually gets a touch but the real question is about what he does with these opportunities. Time and again in the last few weeks he has failed to make very much of them. Headers are misdirected past the woodwork or by team-mates in support and he’s easily nudged off the ball, just enough to affect his aim, because of his lack of body strength. He took his goal well, laid on a plate by Luka’s admirable persistence, but he is so frustrating and his presence means we look for him rather than try to pass our way forward. He’s a key option but not the only option. Defoe was left with a cricked neck as the ball flew over and past him for the whole game.

Bale continues to impress. We’ve not really seen him tested defensively since he came back into the team but already his accelerating forward runs are reminiscent of Cole (may I wash my mouth out) and Evra. Above all, he’s taking control of situations and seldom hesitates. When he makes a mistake, he’s quickly back into position and does not lose concentration. He will make mistakes but we must tolerate that, because he’s one of the best prospects I have seen for a long time. A top quality player in the making.

Hud did Ok. Again he does better when given a fraction more space but he made the most of what he was given, looking for the ball and passing well. At times his control was beautiful, and I mean an utterly beautiful skill, so much so that he stopped to admire his own genius and was therefore tackled. Oh well. And a word of praise for Gomes, who really has not put a foot wrong for several matches and his presence exudes confidence at the back. He’s a terrific player.

Fulham were missing several key men, which disrupted their formidable powers of organisation, and they don’t travel well, so their lack of threat was predictable and frankly welcome. Murphy impressed, as always. Shrewd and spiky, he releases the ball early into channels as well as picking everything up from their back four, but he had little to work with. Frustrated as much by his team-mates’ reluctance to pass to him as the redoubtable efforts of Dawson and King, Zamora forsook the more traditional methods of graft and talent and turned to sustained whinging in order to make the breakthrough. Surely the offside decisions against him were mistaken as he could never in this match have been considered active.

Overall, we were never seriously challenged and picked up the win without too much of a problem. Dull at times, and for once I’m glad.

Liverpool v Spurs. A Performance of Lettuce Proportions

/ Alan / 23 Comments

We demanded strong and bold, what we were given was limp and lifeless. We were up for the moment, they were down in the dumps. It’s premature to describe the Liverpool defeat as a turning point, but after this and Hull, I stare at the table and see us fourth but by default rather than merit. The table does not lie, it’s what happens over a season that counts and there’s plenty of that season still to run, but last night in no way, shape or form did we look like a top four team.

Cameo performances typically brighten up a performance of any kind. In film or on stage, the actor seizes her or his brief chance in the spotlight to steal the scene and put on a show that is noticed. Last night a Spurs cameo encapsulated the entire night and the performer was indeed noticed but for all the wrong reasons. Closest to the pitch yet so tantalisingly far from the action, being a substitute requires a degree of resolution. Bassong must have had some idea before kick-off even that his services were likely to be required as once more Ledley’s prematurely creaking bones could give way at some time. Yet when called upon his mind was elsewhere, unable to offer the basics, like shorts. Finally on the pitch, he never came to terms with the fact that he was playing, missing tackles, late with a header and then conceding a penalty.

That foul made no difference to the outcome of the match – it was well and truly lost by then – but Bassong’s lack of mental application and fortitude perfectly sums up the approach of the entire team. Half a mistake, Daws not quite strong enough, and suddenly there is a gap for Kuyt to finish skilfully, a well-taken strike. Going a goal down early is tough but not insurmountable. I waited for us to get into our stride. Waited for us to get hold of the ball. Became frustrated as in the first half we lost possession so often, wanting to take three or four touches, to beat a man, where one or two would have done. Waited for the Croats to get on the ball and knock it around, it’s their game and here was the place to play it. Waited patiently, the second period came and finally the ball was ours, we were on top, we pushed them  deep into their own half…

Nothing. Nothing but a smart long shot, a Modric chance and a couple of kerfuffles in their box. No pattern or intelligence. No one willing to take control. JJ and Wilson huffed and puffed, not everything came off but they won the ball for us on sufficient occasions only for nothing to come of it. Luka and Niko disappointed, drifting infield to be swallowed up by an eager Liverpool defence. In my preview I suggested they would be key. Without Lennon’s surging pace, they had to respond in a different but no less effective passing style, yet they seemed as confused as the rest of them.

I had warned that Liverpool should not be written off as a spent force and the performance that Benitez coaxed from them proves he remains highly influential in the club. They worked, covered and pressed, and when their legs tired did not wilt. Known for their open play, Liverpool on this night took heed of the success of their less illustrious counterparts and threw a stifling midfield blanket over us, as have Stoke, Wolves and Hull of late. It worked perfectly, and only some frankly awful finishing prevented them from handing out a real beating.

Nothing should obscure the fact that this was a ragged and intensely disappointing Spurs performance. However, now that we mention turning points, there was another one in this match. The Defoe goal should have stood. Active, phases, whatever – my view is that he was not offside. This is the second time this season that a controversial decision by Howard Webb has affected the outcome away against a big team, the first being the penalty he denied Keane versus Chelsea. Then as last night, we were not getting anywhere and such a moment could have brought us back into the match as well as testing Liverpool’s own fragile confidence.

Put into the context of the season as a whole, however, the point is that goal or not, we should not allow ourselves to wait for something to happen in order to ignite the passion and the football. We have to make it happen ourselves. In the same way, a shrewdly engineered two minute injury break broke what spluttering rhythm we had. Surely we had enough experience of that on Saturday to know how to overcome it. It says much for the lack of resilience in the team if we cannot deal with this.

Of the other players, Bale had another decent performance and apart from five minutes at the end of the first half where the ball was in his corner and he totally lost concentration, it augers well for the future. Not much more comfort to be had, I’m afraid. Crouch was awful, barely a single decent pass or lay-off in the entire match, let alone effort on goal, and Defoe was not far behind in the race for last place. Nothing stuck when the ball was played up to him and he spent most of the match in apparently increasing resentment that he was being tightly (but fairly) marked. Defenders tackling – the very nerve. And I genuinely forgot Keane was ever on the pitch.