Spurs. The Seinfeld Of Football

If Seinfeld was famously the show about nothing, then Spurs are the Seinfeld of football, at least for now.

In the past I’ve been relieved and grateful when things have gone quiet. I cherish rare moments of peace and quiet to punctuate the bedlam of the season. No scandals or internecine arguments, the media looking elsewhere, not to mention winning football matches. It’s the welcome tedium of progress. Heads down and just getting on with business.

But now, nothing. Zilch. Zero. Nada. I’m bored now. There’s been some football. We appear to have won a trophy. I can tell you as much as anyone about what it means for our prospects in the season to come, and I haven’t watched a single second. The Unfit Getting Fitter Challenge.

Transfers? All gone quiet. The media have exhausted themselves with the Modric story: even their creativity can’t do any more with ‘Chelsea might buy Luka’. Uncle Harry’s Long Arm of Comfort has reached out and come to rest gently but firmly around Luka’s shoulders. Meet our new captain (Southern hemisphere only).

Things Could Be Worse. You Could Be Me

Nobody out as yet. That queue around the ground is for City tickets, rather than the expected rush of bidders for our available squad players. Until the prognosis on Sandro’s injury is clearer or another midfielder has put pen to paper, it’s unlikely that Jenas or Palacios will go. Dos Santos is in demand, so probably only a matter of time, while the only decision Levy has to make on Hutton and Keane is how big a loss he’s prepared to accept. No one in either, certainly not the long awaited and much needed striker or three.

Harry, now surely there’s something on Harry. But no, the tax case has been postponed and the wheeler-dealing that he doesn’t do oh no not him never not me has ground to a halt. Excuse me: twiddling thumbs whilst brushing away the tumbleweed blowing across the blog is tricky stuff, you know.

It’s hard to tell if no news is good news. Certainly it is as far as the Modric saga is concerned, with Levy remaining true to his word and rumours that Chelsea are signing an alternative target. I fear however that SSN will on deadline day have a helicopter poised over the Lodge until it’s over, which is variously 5pm, midnight or three weeks the following Tuesday if the League’s fax machine runs out of paper.

I’m also pleased that there has not been a mass exodus. I’m in the minority as many Spurs fans would personally transport Jenas and Bentley to the destination of their choice, or failing that a destination not of their choice. Anywhere but N17, in fact, but taking the first offer is reckless. I have a suspicion JJ will still be with us come September but if there’s late activity for the others, it’s good business by Levy to hang on. The traditional end of window panic could push the price up and I don’t believe we have to sell before we can buy. Granted we have to keep the squad size within the requisite 25 and sales will generate some cash but the big money is already in place. Also, highly significantly, there’s been little or no discussion about Sandro, Bale or VDV leaving. If keeping this squad together for another season is the overriding priority, then silence is a beautiful sound.

The biggest worry is no striker. This isn’t unexpected. As I have said many times now, the men we want are in demand and our offer, in terms of both fee and salary, will not be the only one on the table. Frustrating for us, look at it from their perspective: they will hang on for the best offer, given that we can’t give them CL football. Aguero to City is the classic example. By all accounts we made a generous albeit late bid in January and were still interested this summer, but as soon as he has a sniff of City’s wealth plus the Champions League, it’s natural he’ll go there. In cases like this, it’s not a question of our lack of ambition, simply that a few teams can offer a better package to in-demand players.

I’m still reassured that we are working hard on this. Frankly, I have no hard evidence but Levy has learned from previous windows and the potential vistas opened up by the CL run, while Redknapp cannot be blind to the deficiencies of our frontmen or overestimate the value of big man/little man up front as he did this time last year. Complacency is no longer an option.

Late deals could come in the form of loans. Adebayor for instance: we can’t (and shouldn’t) match his salary but City will be forced to reassess the options if they don’t get a better offer. Us paying half is better than they having to pay the lot. Also, the transfer market as a whole hasn’t opened up yet, with comparatively little activity, Sunderland and Liverpool apart. The time to worry is when players we want who are not courted by the top four go elsewhere. The suggestion that we didn’t go hard for Suarez because the scouts thought he wasn’t right for us is an error that must not be repeated.

One positive is the continued investment in players for the future. Another often repeated refrain in these pages is the need to ensure a steady flow of young players able to challenge for the first team in the years to come and that this development should not be ignored in favour of the big signings. Souleymane Coulibaly looks like a cracking young striker, whilst Caulker’s season long loan at Swansea could be the shrewdest piece of business we do all season. He looks a fine prospect and a year in the Prem could be the making of him. Witness Walker’s development, from loanee to international. Similarly, Mason, Naughton, Khumalo (not so young) and others have a better chance of making it if loaned out than if they were stuck at the Lodge.

Or how about this as the most curious signing of the season. I’m happy to be corrected as I haven’t checked this, but I understand Perry Alnwick has been given another contract. Forgive me, but what exactly does he do? Even on loan in the lower leagues, he’s been there as cover and hasn’t played. Surely we can do better for the coveted 4th choice keeper spot.

Overall it’s not such a bad picture. However, time is moving on. Every day is one less day new arrivals will have to settle into a team that must get off to a solid start and one more day of growing anxiety that the strikers don’t in fact exist. The next piece might have a bit more edge to it. However, this is still the silly season. As I write, there’s a rumour on twitter from a Chelsea fan that Modric is at the Spurs training ground, dressed rather than in training gear, and shaking hands. And they say Tottenham On My Mind doesn’t carry the latest gossip.

Luka’s Finest Achievement. He’s Made Terry Feel Superior.

As I write this, I’m on my way to a job interview. I’m happy with my current job but that’s often the best time to have a look round. This is a similar role but in a national private corporation as opposed to the voluntary sector. I’ll have greater responsibilities, a bigger budget, more people to manage and a higher profile, which at this stage of my career is a real opportunity. The biggest difference is the salary, a 50% rise in one fell swoop. That’s nothing. A colleague in another private organisation earns twice as much as I do.

Even if I’m offered it, and frankly I have a decent chance because I’ve been in the business all my working life, I’ll probably not take it. I work for a charity because in my business, social care, I don’t really want to help other people make a profit out of the needy. It’s no big thing: many private companies do an impeccable job. It’s just not right for me, so chances are by the time you read this, I’ll be sitting in my draughty little office, reasonably content but still working on ways of paying off the credit cards.

No Need to Laugh Luka, Loyalty is Perfectly Reasonable. I'm Doing This For Your Own Good

The accepted wisdom these days is that footballers can’t resist the lure of the fattest wage packet dangled in front of them. It’s hard to blame them: it’s a short life that could be over in the fraction of a second that it takes for a high boot to shatter a shin pad or, more likely these days, for a cartilage weakened by too many games to succumb to the strain or a weary ligament to become distorted out of shape on the turn. Most of us would do the same: a job with a rival at twice the salary. Be honest.

But life’s not all about money. Sure it’s not only a vital component, it’s also the passport to other elements of our standard of living. However, there are other things. Research shows there’s no direct link between wealth and your level of happiness. Also right up there on the indices of happiness are job satisfaction, friendships/social life and the work-life balance.

At the moment at Spurs, everything revolves around Luka Modric, in much the same way as it does on the pitch where on his day he masters not just the midfield art but dictates the the pace and shape of the entire game. I understand why he wants to go but I won’t accept the inevitability of his departure just because a top four team is making a serious attempt to sign him.

Searching for a reason why he could wait a while, he could do worse than consider other factors when making this key life decision, as we all do. Modric is a star at Spurs. He runs the midfield, the team plays around him. What a feeling that must be. I would gladly sign away my soul to the devil for 5 minutes of being able to stroke the ball around the way he does, to drop a shoulder and ease away from straining, desperate defenders, to ping a ball 40 yards into a stride, just the sensation of feeling the ball leave my boot, the swelling adulation and amazement of the crowd in awe.

That won’t happen at Chelsea. He’ll one of many, a newcomer in a dressing room of cynical pros more concerned about the pursuit of mammon and skirt. He won’t necessarily be first choice. The fans are highly critical and demanding. It’s not the same as here.

This evening Luka’s possible future captain, John Terry, has judged the recent agitations to get away as ‘disrespectful’, having gone about his business in the incorrect manner, according to Sky Sports’ website. Such an assessment by a man with the morals of a stoat is hardly a ringing endorsement. It’s possibly the most damning indictment of anyone’s conduct since, well, about 2 minutes ago actually in the Murdoch committee. Indulging in conduct that’s worthy of John Terry’s contempt is a remarkable achievement.

Terry’s comments are ridiculous but Luka, this is what you are walking into. His next sentence has received less attention but is significant: ‘We’ve a good squad of players. If he comes he could certainly add to that.’ Doesn’t think much of you, does he Luka? Part of the squad. At the Lane we know how good you truly are. You will be valued and revered.

And what’s wrong with asking for a little loyalty? He had the ability but we’ve nurtured that, brought him along at the right pace and patiently waited for his return after injury. All of which Modric himself acknowledged barely 2 months ago. How time flies.

His recent comments indicate that he’s feeling guilt to some extent. Critical of the club and of Levy in particular, he’s making the psychological break first. Having claimed he’s been very happy at the Lane, grateful for the support he’s received on and off the pitch, he’s now distancing himself from those feelings, seeking in an alleged broken promise a reason to make the move.

The psyche of the professional footballer is hard for us fans to understand. Perhaps footballers are the ultimate definition of ‘professional’ – they go where the money is and do their best regardless of the colour of their shirt as long as the colour of money suits them. Consider Emmanuel Adebayor. Whatever the accuracy of the rumours, it seems highly likely that Spurs and his representatives have had some detailed discussions about the possibility of a move to us. Now from his point of view, he’s had to take dog’s abuse from this crowd, the victim of a vile song that is out of bounds even for a football ground. He’d have every right to tell Harry to stuff it, yet he’s obviously not rejected us out of hand. If he arrives and doesn’t perform to the best of his ability, we will have played a part, yet this isn’t a major factor for him. A shed showroom full of cash wouldn’t make me consider the possibility, but then I’m not a professional footballer.

I’ll never quite work it out. Me and Luka, we have something in common. I’m not being naive: I know Spurs isn’t a charity, despite much of our defending last season, and at Chelsea Luka will earn in a week two and a half times my annual salary, and then some. However, before he takes it further, he would do well to stop and think. Job satisfaction, a small debt to repay in kind. A transfer to the top four club isn’t all that’s on the agenda and Luka, you know I love you, we have a special bond together. I’m only thinking of you, old son.

The Transfer Pantomime. This Is Where I Came In

When I was a kid, we didn’t have much time for going out as a family. My dad had a small shop that was open 12 hours a day, every day except Sunday when he closed at 2. Sometimes for a treat he’d shut a few minutes early, scrawl a hurried apology on a paper bag that he would sellotape to the glass shop door and we would escape for a few precious hours. The favourite was a trip up west. The Central Line still has a touch of magic for me, a sentiment not shared by commuters, but in half an hour it took me to the centre of the capital. Window shopping around Marble Arch, egg and chips at Lyons Corner House (a man of simple tastes, my dad) followed by the Jacey cartoon cinema.

In those days there were a few cartoon cinemas in town. My love for Tom and Jerry, Tex Avery and the Warner stable is with me still and the Looney Tunes music has a special resonance. Interspersed with newsreels, the programme ran on a loop for an hour or so. You could come in and leave at any time and remain as long as you liked but usually you left when your first cartoon came round again. This is where I came in.

My Seat (some bloke got in the way of the pic)

I’ve taken a break from the blog for a few weeks. Not sure why, if truth be told. Haven’t been away although I have been infernally busy at home and at work. Pointless really: I’m constantly drafting articles in my head, for Tottenham is genuinely always on my mind. A lot has happened in that time, mostly to do with Luka Modric, or maybe nothing has happened whatsoever. To put fingertip to keyboard at this moment is pretty pointless too (as if the rest of this guff has some significance…) because take an overview and nothing’s changed. It’s fun but I’m not sitting through this for a second time.

The media have lapped it up, not just a transfer story in a relatively dull close season but a veritable saga. Modric wants to go. Levy says no. Modric says OK, then it’s not OK. Levy still says no. Modric says Levy is not a very nice man. Levy doesn’t care.

A bit of knockabout fun but it’s no different from the situation I predicted a couple of months ago now. Because Luka Modric is the best midfielder outside the top four, there will be an auction for his services involving Chelsea and Manchester United. I doff my stylishly battered straw pork pie hat to the brave souls who saw Luka’s interview in a Croatian paper on Sunday morning and hit Google translation around the time I was staggering around trying to wake up and kvetching about another bloody weekend of DIY. However, the only surprise is that other top European clubs have not expressed a stronger interest. The key has always been Daniel Levy. He wants to build a top class team but he knows the price of everything. Whatever his protestations to the contrary, he may be tempted to sell. Nothing has changed.

The comedy dialogue that characterises the contemporary transfer pantomime is in full swing. Luka’s scriptwriter, presumably his agent, has gone for audience but his man emerges as the villain of the piece, a guise unbefitting a maestro who has has graced the Lane for the past few seasons. In the process he’s managed to alienate large sections of Spurs fans: if a relationship turns sour, dump before you get dumped. But it’s all the same. Leverage in the negotiations and a message to Chelsea to keep bidding. If it works, fine, if not, there’s a fat 6 year contract at Spurs to cushion the blow with the distinct chance that we will up his salary again.

Hello Roman? Roman? Can you imagine how I feel about it, Roman? Yes, I'm sorry too..

My position hasn’t changed one jot either. Keep him at all costs. This is a watershed season for Tottenham Hotspur. If we graft a few quality players, strikers first and foremost, onto the existing squad we are ready to take on all comers, now and in the years to come. Modric, Bale, Sandro, riches beyond my dreams.

Modric’s recent comments don’t alter that view. He should show some loyalty, and also it may further his career to stay at Spurs where he will be the star rather than face the highly critical Chelsea support. However much as we don’t like it, the attraction of double the salary plus the CL would give anyone second thoughts. Also, as we have a pop at him, we have no problem luring away the best players from other teams. If Samba, today’s alleged top target, wants to come here, we won’t berate him for his lack of loyalty to Blackburn, the team who took him from relative obscurity. If he says he’s always wanted to join Spurs, that’s not true, now is it? The tired and stilted script of the transfer pantomime.

Forget the statements and media bluster. Instead look out for these two things that really matter. One, Modric. Professionals have a different attitude to this football business compared with the supporters. If he stays, as I desperately hope he does, it’s about how he performs. I reckon the professional in him will buckle down and give his utmost. That’s what being a professional means. So I’m not joining this wave of villification because I’d rather judge him on how well he does against that benchmark, nothing else, certainly not the rubbish from his agent.

Secondly, this has turned into a test of Daniel Levy’s integrity. Boldly and bravely, he has made a clear, unequivocal statement: we are not selling our best players. He has my wholehearted support. He too will be tempted by the money, so judge him on how well he resists. If he goes back on his word, his reputation will be shot to pieces. We won’t take a blind bit of notice of anything he utters, ever again. Perhaps the stakes are highest for our chairman rather than any of his players.

And So It Begins

Chelsea and Manchester United will engage in an auction for the services of Luka Modric. Not ITK, just obvious, and something I’ve mentioned a couple of times since the season finished. He’s one of the top midfielders in Europe and certainly the best outside the top four, with the possible exception of Gerrard who is welded to his club.

Chelsea’s bid of £22m has been greeted in the Spurs community with howls of

Say It Ain't So, Mo. Dric.

derision, an insult to the player and the club. However, it’s merely an opening gambit in what promises to be a protracted negotiation throughout a long tedious window. They know they will have to pay more, a lot more to not only attract him away from the Lane, where he seems happy enough, but also to outbid rivals. City have come into the equation according to some papers and our CL run was an advert for our best men seen and absorbed across Europe.

The bid signals Chelsea’s intentions to Spurs and to the player but it’s main purpose is to flush other bidders out into the open, which is the main reason why Chelsea leaked it to the media last night. It’s no reflection on us: we’d do exactly the same if it suited us. Harry is hardly a stranger to the media and just because he says it in that ‘football man uncle H know something good when I see it’ tone doesn’t make it any different.

Neither have Chelsea undervalued him. They expect to pay up to double if he signs.  The talk in the Spurs forums about their arrogance at offering such a low figure has meaning only if we are going to sell. He’s worth £40m at least in today’s market but to me he’s worth nothing  because something that’s not for sale has no price.

Nothing has changed with this bid. Levy is the key, not United or Chelsea, Fergie or Abramovich. Media statements from player or club mean little either until the window closes. It’s up to Levy to resist temptation, same as it was last week and the one before. Luka Modric is worth everything and nothing at the same time. Don’t sell under any circumstances.

Lest you believe I’m being unfeasibly charitable towards a club I’ve disliked since my childhood in west London, my I’ve disliked since my childhood in west London derision is reserved for fans of Chelsea and United for that matter who are debating whether or not Modric is good enough for them. If you want hubris and real arrogance, read some of their earnest discussions. My advice, in the spirit of comradeship amongst my fellow fans, is to get down on your knees and pray, beg that your club is worthy of such a maestro in your creaking midfields.

Much of this is based not on the evidence of their eyes but on numbers. Look at the stats, they say, only a few goals and fewer assists. Not up to scratch. What really violates me as they spout this bilge is the concept of football reduced to a series of numbers on a page. I despise this trend in the modern game. No recognition of guile, beauty and power that makes our game the greatest of them all, qualities that Modric epitomises.  Presumably those that query Luka’s credentials clutch clipboards to their breasts ticking off the stats on their puss-splattered pages as their acne rears up.

Numbers tell only some of the story. How do they measure Luka as he picks up the ball from deep, passes, moves, picks it up, pauses for a fraction then on it goes, and him with it? Put a figure on the relieved expressions of team-mates, under intense pressure who look up and find him waiting, wanting the ball. Evaluate if you will the space he creates for others as defenders cluster around him or as he moves to the ball leaving gaps elsewhere. Quantify the emotion as he lifts those around him with a precious combination of skill, perception and sheer dogged bloody-minded effort. Run the tape round his legs and torso or from head to toe: will that tell how far he runs, how hard he tackles or how easily he picks himself up after a physical challenge and just gets on with it? The notion that he is frail is preposterous.

Use these figures to dismiss in a second other footballers who weren’t so hot in front of goal. Ossie Ardiles, for example. Useless to all intents and purposes, yet who could turn a game not with a 25 yard thunderbolt but by running the midfield so that he controlled the pace and shape of the entire game. You want power? Right there, as 21 others played to his tune. Ardiles, a man who could not bear for the ball to be still, couldn’t hit a dead ball (apart from at Man U) but just wanted to play.

Stats? You want one? Work out who started the moves, the man who passed the ball to the guy who made the assist. Better still, wait a year and give him a couple of strikers on the same wavelength, who don’t throw down the picnic blanket and set up camp on the far post or who idle in the safety of the 18 yard line, but who feed off those little balls tucked into channels.

Football is an exhilarating, stunningly beautiful spectacle in the hands and feet of the best. Never lose the sense of mystery as Modric spreads the play 35 yards, threads a pass through when there is no room or sways away from desperate defenders with a single shrug and shimmy. If you think differently, heathens and philistines, oblivious to the sign of true brilliance, frankly, what’s the point? Maybe just spend some time and watch Luka Modric, really watch what he does rather than count. It makes the game a thing of great beauty and wonder, precisely what contemporary football needs. Let’s hope for Spurs’ sake that when you watch, he’s wearing white.