World Cup Conversations: The Builder’s Yard

“Good choice, mate. That Cotswold stone, we knock out a lot of that.

Baz, stick it in the gent’s boot, will you. Lovely finish, it has. Then sort out that flag, health hazard you are.”

“Makes me proud, all these flags. Come on my lovely boys. Should be like this all the time, mate. Us English and proud of it.”

“Had that one made special, like, but ’course, round here, had them up for months. You know, since the election, and before, some of us. Looking a bit knackered now. Des down the Lion, not the one up on the roundabout, on East Hill, decent boozer that one, not like the roundabout. Used to be a decent place, took the missus there for Sunday lunch and not so long ago neither, now it’s all underage. And they got bouncers too. Reckon they let ‘em in if they can get a feel. Nice titty mind. You can’t tell these days, what are they f***ing wearing? Might pop down there myself Friday, don’t tell the missus. Eh Baz? He likes a bit of the underage, don’t you Baz? Eh? I’ll tell her I’m out watching the f**ing football.”

“Yeah, means something that flag, round here. Don’t just f***ing get it out for the f***ing football. ‘Course they don’t come in here. Stories I could tell you, mates can’t get work, good mates twenty years in the trade some of ‘em, good blokes. At home all day watching f***ing Loose Women and that other tosser, whatisname, right twat he is. Looking after the kids, going spare he is, my mate. Brings the kid down the Lion. Don’t like kids in pubs, mind, it’s not right, but he ain’t got nowhere else to go.”

“See they don’t pay tax but they’ll take our NHS and that, eh. Listen, if it’s England Poland there’ll be f***ing capers round here, f***ing mayhem. Few of us down the Lion, we’re ready, f***ing ready mate. ‘Scuse my French.”

“’Course those overpaid poof ponces, not worth nothing, none of ‘em. Poncing around, rubbish mate, won’t get past the group stage. Should have tanked the Yanks, what the f*** do they know about football? Don’t even play the game. Heskey? Heskey? England centre forward. Heskey? Do me a favour. Not fit to carry their bags.”

“Same every time. Too much money. Ruined the game, it has. Don’t care about us back home, we have to watch it. Lose a few and back to their f***ing wags. Mind you, I would, eh Baz? Can’t be arsed to watch it, tell the truth. That fat bloke, off Gavin and Stacy, haha, I like him, better than the game it is. Sticks it to the Krauts. Makes like he’s joking but you can tell he really hates them.”

“So that’s 30 for the ballast and 75 for the slabs, call it a 100 for cash? Cheers.”

“‘Course I’m off mate, got a nice little place in Spain. Get out of this shithole, bit of sun on me back. Give it a couple of years, You won’t see me again. Couple of years.”

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3 thoughts on “World Cup Conversations: The Builder’s Yard

  1. Weather forecast: The North of England will experience severe flooding this is due to the whole of Scotland pissing themselves laughing.

    Sorry lads but you have to laugh!


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